Looking back at last week, compared to the one before, I can’t believe the contrast. My first catchup post came off the back of a stressful week of shifts topped off with low moods and low energy. This past week has seen something of an upward swing: I don’t know if it’s because I made a subconscious effort to get back on the horse, or if it was a combination of dead good things. In any case I’m not questioning it.
I’ve never been the type to dread Mondays. Between film and TV work, customer service and bar work, I’ve mostly always worked weekends. I don’t so much embrace the new week as full on disco winch it. I still felt a bit queasy on Monday, and a slow night shift didn’t help matters, but by Tuesday it was all but gone. Tuesday was the first of my run of days off and I was starting to feel like myself. Unsurprisingly documented the matter through the medium of selfie (as is the way of the millennial). I’ve never gone out in public with a bare midriff before never mind put it on the internet, but sometimes you get to a stage where you just don’t give a shit.
This week, I actually felt some significant baby movement. After finding out that the placenta was in front of the baby, I’d resigned myself to having to wait it out. From asking other mums and mums-to-be, it turned out I’d been feeling it all along. I just thought it was gas. It doesn’t feel like kicks or anything, but it’s still kinda cool.
I’ve felt a weird mix of energy surges and crashing sleepiness this week. Last week’s sickness passed over until Monday, and after that I actually felt OK. I don’t want to jinx it though- my smugness about lack of illness so far certainly booted me in the balls mid-month. I’ve managed to get out and about a bit more this week, and not only that but I’ve wanted to do it. I even took this really weird notion to sort out all the clothes I’m too fat for. Most people do this on a fairly regular basis (like, hanging them up and that, I mean). Me? I use the excuse that I get home from a night shift at 4am, fire them into my wardrobe and close the door before it bulges open. When you get to a stage that your drawers are so full of balled up clothes, socks and pyjamas that they won’t open or fully close though- yeah, you might have to admit you have a problem. Thankfully this week, I powered through it. Mostly because all the stuff was lying across my bed and it was finish the job or sleep on the couch.
Hand in hand with my increased energy was an upturn in mood. It’s been pretty nice, and being aware of the positive mood has made it easy to maintain it- if that makes sense? Like when I’m going through downer days I sort of muddle through it feeling like shit, which makes me feel shit about feeling like shit, thus prolonging it. When I feel good, I constantly remind myself of it, and look out other things to keep it going. Unfortunately most of this has involved buying myself stuff. The feel-good itinerary so far includes:
- A new pair of maternity skinny jeans from H&M (identical to my pre-pregnancy ones, but totally justifiable because I boxed up/donated/recycled about 75% of my wardrobe in my mammoth clearout)
- A shiny copy of The Fourth Trimester (I’m starting to read up early- fail to prepare, prepare to fail)
- My very own copy of The Unmumsy Mum (I read this blog even before I found out I was pregnant and loved it for its honesty. I laughed out loud a good few times even just reading the introduction)
- How to Have a Baby and Not Lose Your Shit (because the name hooked me, it popped up as a suggested purchase with The Unmumsy Mum, I apparently have an Amazon Prime account I’ve paid for without realising and it has chapters including “Stupid Shit People Say to Women”. Sold)
- A beautiful heptagram choker from Cherryloco jewellery at comic con on Sunday, because it’s pretty much autumn already and it was giving me serious Hallowe’en feels.
- A stuffed Totoro, to add to li’l bean’s already-impressive collection of soft toys.
I know, I know- you can’t buy happiness. If I keep going at this rate I’ll be pushing my baby around in a stolen shopping trolley. I never buy anything I can’t find solid justification for though- are baby books and maternity jeans all that bad, anyway?
On a non-materialistic note, my mood was also cheered immensely by doing more stuff. I missed a volunteering shift last week and went back to it this week with aplomb. I’ve volunteered on a couple of occasions before and would honestly recommend it to anyone. I signed up to take part in a research group for a new walking event at Glasgow Women’s Library. I found out about li’l bean a couple of weeks into it and in between full time shift work and a sudden onslaught of doctor’s and midwife appointments, I didn’t have time to go and do the extra research I would’ve liked. Instead I got stuck into a front of house role and I’ve been absolutely loving it. There’s so much more I could- and will- write on this amazing place, but it deserves a post unto itself. They’ve just launched their autumn programme including the walking tour of the Gorbals– I only went along for a few weeks but I know it’s gonna be pretty special.
My new found joie de vivre has extended itself to my first body attack class since pre-pregnancy (holy SHIT I’d forgotten how hard it was. I was still feeling the handful of burpees I attempted days later) and comic con at Braehead. Ally and I go every year, and usually come away with more swag than we can carry, but this year showed remarkable restraint. We did meet Margot Kidder (of Black Christmas, The Amityville Horror and Superman fame) and I had a brief chat about ‘baby movement or gas’. She’s overcome serious (and documented) mental health issues in the past, but she was awesome, dryly funny and even gave li’l bean her blessing.
My appetite’s started to regulate itself which is a huge relief on my wallet and (somewhat obscured) waistline. I still get nauseous if I miss breakfast or go too long without anything but I’m not the human garbage pail I was over the last wee while. Getting some normality back in my eating pattern means I definitely did not feel bad scranning this entire beast of a burger from Handmade Burger Co. After two hours stomping around comic con in platform creepers, it was well earned.
Also my auntie popped round for lunch and a catch up- by lunch I thought she meant she’d maybe picked up a sandwich or something but nope. A McDonald’s veggie burger meal, coffee and doughnuts. I maybe have a McDonald’s every few years and goddamn if it didn’t fill a wee hole.
TL;DR Highlights and Lowlights
Having three days off work in a row- I don’t get bank holidays and multiple days off in a row don’t come too often so this was pretty decent.
Getting some exercise. It’s amazing how much of a boost it is to my mood and overall wellbeing.
Throwing myself back into volunteering. It’s good for the soul.
Finding out that I’d won a sweet goodie bag competition from kickass alternative wedding photographers Tub Of Jelly for naming an inflatable flamingo. Maybe it’s because thinking of boys’ names has been on my mind… I went for Keith. Spoiler alert: this is not on the shortlist for li’l bean.
After our trip up north last Sunday I spent most of the night up being sick- it hasn’t made a reappearance this week so, y’know, fingers crossed.
Late night weekend shifts being endlessly hectic. Thankfully not as stressful as last week, since halfway through my Friday shift I remembered it was a full moon which explained A LOT.