Forgive me internet, for I have sinned. It’s been nearly a month since my last pregnancy update. It seems like such a long time putting it that way- like, I’m nearly a whole month more pregnant. In my defence, I’ve been busy preparing for actually being a parent. This month has seen antenatal classes, birth plans, hospital bags, maternity meetings and baby showers. All things that make impending parenthood seem very, very real indeed.
Since crashing into my third trimester, I’ve actually started to feel… well, pregnant. It sounds stupid, I know- like I haven’t known I am the whole time. I just feel like there’s been a marked change in how I look and feel. The last couple of weeks have seen some particularly significant growth. When I look down, my feet have all but disappeared. In the last two weeks alone my bump seems to have grown significantly. Even Ally commented that it looked like it had grown in the last week- and he’s the last person who’d think to make a comment on my size (for his own wellbeing and, well, because he’s not a tool).
He has a point though.
Today marks the 22nd week of pregnancy and only about nine or ten weeks since I actually found out li’l bean was on his way. I feel like I’ve had a lot of catching up to do to make up for lost time: I’ve mentioned previously how overwhelming it was being launched into the end of the first trimester with little adjustment time. Since then though, we’ve had two scans (including the super-scary sounding anomaly scan) and numerous blood tests and everything looks- fingers crossed- like we’re all good to go.
As with most things (trying veganism, for example), I find it easy to keep track of progress ‘n things if I write it down. I feel like if I have a physical record of something, I’m accountable to it. I don’t know quite how many times I’ve rebooted My Fitness Pal for that very same reason. In order to try and cram as much missing information as possible, I scoured baby websites and apps and found a couple that were of use: namely the NHS’s Ready Steady Baby app, and the pregnancy tracker from Bounty.
A little over a month ago, I was sitting in a bar on the tenth floor of a Berlin hotel. I had a rum and coke in one hand and a cigarette in the other and as I laughed and chatted with my boyfriend and two pals, I felt pretty contented. It’s been a pretty testing year so far: the graduate job hunt seemed like a series of defeats, I was turfed out of my shitty bar job and I’d been feeling that things were at a bit of a standstill. However as I sat on the bar’s 360-degree balcony, taking in the Berlin cityscape, I had a weird feeling that things were going to be OK. It might’ve been the half litre of wine I’d had (to myself) with dinner, the pre-gig anticipation or just the atmosphere, but bad luck can only last for so long. At the very least, I had another job to get me by, I was in my favourite place and I was in great company.
Exactly a week later I was back in Glasgow, standing in my flat, by myself, with a positive pregnancy test in my hand.